Romans 1: 18-20 (frequently quoted by young earth creationist zealots because they claim nature points to the biblical god):
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."
So if you genuinely struggle to believe in an all-powerful creative supernatural being, and one who is described in scripture as both 'loving' and 'just', you deserve eternal torment in hell.
A being who offers the following choice or 'choice' - worship me for eternity after death or be tormented eternally after death for not believing in me (or not believing in me in a biblical fashion ie having saving faith in Jesus and in what he did for humanity on the cross).
Essentially the choice offered to humans is be tormented or else worship for eternity a god who is simultaneously tormenting all those who refused or felt unable to worship as required by this invisible being. (Presumably the Christian viewpoint is that all those not in heaven - even those not there for the sin of unbelief or lack of strong saving faith rather than active bad behaviour - were, probably, suitably warned whilst alive and thus had it coming to them and therefore do not deserve any sympathy or pity from the saved.)
And yes, I was a Christian for over two decades. I guess I NEVER thought of things in such an undeniably bleak manner. (I also did not believe because of 'intelligent design' in nature but rather because of the gospel message.)