This made me laugh !

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This made me laugh !

Postby Peter Henderson » Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:58 pm

This was posted on the Panda's thumb by a blogger called "Raven" in response to YEC blogger FL:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)


I must confess, I had a good laugh but could I be accused of blasphemy ? However, it does show how absurd the position of those who take the book of Genesis literally actually is. Why do they not take these passages of scripture literally as well ?

I wonder if I should make Paul Taylor aware of the above next time he's on Talkback ? Would it make any difference to his position ? I doubt it. It just shows though, why taking a literal position on Genesis is nonsensical and how even YEC's like Taylor or White do pick and choose as well.
Last edited by Peter Henderson on Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Peter Henderson
 
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Re: This made me laugh !

Postby Anonymous » Sun Mar 16, 2008 7:28 pm

Peter Henderson wrote:It just shows though, why taking a literal position on Genesis is nonsensical


It is a set of guidelines on how to conduct life put together for political reasons by particular (and sometimes conflicting) religious sects within a particular evolving society. It is remarkable how certain sects today totally ignore this reality.
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Re: This made me laugh !

Postby Peter Henderson » Sun Mar 16, 2008 8:03 pm

Mike Brass wrote:
Peter Henderson wrote:It just shows though, why taking a literal position on Genesis is nonsensical


It is a set of guidelines on how to conduct life put together for political reasons by particular (and sometimes conflicting) religious sects within a particular evolving society. It is remarkable how certain sects today totally ignore this reality.


Seems this piece has been kicking around for quite a while Mike:

http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/laura.htm

However, they are authentic biblical texts. YEC's frequently accuse those Christians who do not accept a literal Genesis as being compromisers (and in some cases not really Christians at all). As an example, in a converstion I had with a YEC friend a while ago, his wife stated that "Because I thought that Genisis was only symbolic then it was possible that I would think the resurection was only symbolic as well". I would imagine that YEC's don't accept the above as literal so they are in fact picking and choosing as well.
Peter Henderson
 
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Location: Jordanstown, Co. Antrim, Northern Ireland

Re: This made me laugh !

Postby Michael » Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:41 pm

Peter Henderson wrote:
Mike Brass wrote:
Peter Henderson wrote:It just shows though, why taking a literal position on Genesis is nonsensical


It is a set of guidelines on how to conduct life put together for political reasons by particular (and sometimes conflicting) religious sects within a particular evolving society. It is remarkable how certain sects today totally ignore this reality.


Seems this piece has been kicking around for quite a while Mike:

http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/laura.htm

However, they are authentic biblical texts. YEC's frequently accuse those Christians who do not accept a literal Genesis as being compromisers (and in some cases not really Christians at all). As an example, in a converstion I had with a YEC friend a while ago, his wife stated that "Because I thought that Genisis was only symbolic then it was possible that I would think the resurection was only symbolic as well". I would imagine that YEC's don't accept the above as literal so they are in fact picking and choosing as well.


Has Ken Ham got parapets on his house?

M
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Re: This made me laugh !

Postby Anonymous » Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:49 pm

Peter Henderson wrote:YEC's frequently accuse those Christians who do not accept a literal Genesis as being compromisers


I had a discussion with a polite YEC a few months back. I made the point of Jesus being quoted as advocating the eye is removed of anyone who looks at another woman with lust prior to marriage. His response was this was obviously not to be taken literally but the totally contradictory Genesis was. I referred him to various works discussing Genesis instead; to his credit, he purchased one of the evolution books I recommended but I have not heard further from him.
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